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We have contact again with the mother of Henk and her boyfriend, this because of a family event. Henk has contact with them by telephone, because I can't have visitors anymore and no phone calls. This because I get worse and worse again, due to my visit to dr. van Montfort in Maastricht on January the 16th. Wednesday 20th February I have to go back for the results of the tests (see 'Special moments - Dr. van Montfort - part 1'). I also have a consult with my gp by telephone every week concerning painkillers (see 'Special moments - Painkillers'). For all of this I have to go over my limits every time what of course isn't healthy for me, but I hope I will get some profit of it. Henk is also getting worse, besides epilepsy he also has ME/CFIDS, if he goes for groceries he gets a relapse from it for a couple of days. This of course creates stress, because you still worry about it.

It appears that I have a starting periodontal disease, this because of not often brushing my teeth. It's even so that I can't brush my teeth for weeks. Also washing on bed can't tacke place every day anymore, because I am too sick for this. I am now being washed on bed 2-3 times a week by my help and even that isn't always possible. The only thing what is left for me what I can do is watching TV or working at my pc. This is also strenuous as well as relaxing and well... you got to have something relaxing too, I don't do cross-stitching anymore for some months now. I also stay downstairs for months now, I don't rest upstairs anymore because this is too exhausting for me. This meens that I rest less because Henk is at home and he sits in the same room behind his pc. I try to rest during the day with my ear plugs in and my eye mask on, but I hear so well that I still hear too much... so it is not Henk's fault. That's why I love it when Henk isn't at home for awhile, I then grap my chance to rest. On one hand it is nice to have a dear friend who is always home because I otherwise would be so alone and I had to go to a nursing-home, but on the other hand it is also nice to be alone when I rest. This is actually double, besides this doesn't mean that I don't love Henk... I do love him tremendously and of course I am very grateful that he stays with me and helps and supports me!!!

February 2002

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