I am soooo tired

I have written this somewhere in 1999 to my email-friend, she too has ME. In Dutch it is with a lot of errors, so I tried to translate this too so you better understand how I felt:

Hi linda linda

How are yoou now today. I am tiredtiredtiredtiredam I so tired. feel funny inside not nice, empty inside, fuckfuckfuck.

Now some daayes sometimes not talk good can and sloooowly and so weird in head, not okay funny? Small kid? Idiot? Not funny is this, veeeeeeerry funny in head and also budy. Am so tiredtiredtiredtiiiiiiireeeeed want sleeep, not stay awake. Again not sleeeep tonigh maybe 1 or 2 hours did sleep not moore, want sleeeeppe feel just smlal child. Am completly going nuts I thinnk, don't know how what whhy whatfor who what whoo don't know not anymore nothing. Helphelp who can hlep mee you both help need. Shitdisease not funny shitlivve fuckk want to cry nnot cry, don't know. Want sit table drink alcohol hott choco with whipped creem drink, iiiice cream with banana and looooooooooots hoot chocosaucee. Want all niccccce things, want no more???? Want death???? Know all nnothing more what do now. Feel weeeird in head also funny in head, yessterdaynight layyy humming singing like smallkkkkid could not stop had do all weird things not could stoop, tiireedtiredtiiiiiirrrreeeed am I a cow, hihi laughingcrying crazy am know nooot anymore what do now. Yoouu nice letter writte, yooou chery upp, you not sad from letter, will overcomme first nneed sleep then better agaiin hoope. Hope you now againn much better are then yessterday andbefoore. Want laugh want cry waaant unhealthy food want great food want make love want bike again running visit yoouu, yak now cry am I again fuck. Hate this fuckdisease, know not what I must want sleep want resst want dance know not more.

I qquit now sad letter think each time I do say same.

Many love greetings everything, ingeborg

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