With ambulance to ME-meeting
On December the 12th I went to a ME-meeting of my district. Thanks to the ambulance service of the Red Cross I could go.
After several phone calls I talked to a man on the phone who said that he wanted to help me so I could go to the ME-meeting. He asked me if it was okay for me to go there with the ambulance. Well, if this was the only way for me to get there. So completely volanturely they brought me with the ambulance to the meeting.
For some days now I am a bit nervous, because I can go the ME-meeting. It feels like I am going on a holiday.
The night before I go early to bed, because the ambulance comes to pick me up at 12.30h. While actually I am not really awake before 15.00h lately, so I wonder how it will go. As expected I was bright awake, of course from the excitement.
I lay downstairs waiting for them all dressed up. They arrive at 12.10h, because they are early they drink some coffee with us. At 12.45h they go to get the stretcher and with some help I lay down on it and off to the ambulance. I am shaking all the time, but this time not alone from exhaustion but also from the excitement. Yes, I am going to the ME-meeting!!!!!!
About 15 minutes later we arrive at the meeting and they ride me on the stretcher into the building. During the meeting I really felt part of the other fellow sufferer’s, although nobody else was on a stretcher. A few people came to me during the break to talk with me. It was exhausting but I stayed till the end.
At 16.15h I was back home, exhausted but satisfied. The guys of the ambulance did get flowers of course for all they had done for me.
The days after
Despite the exhaustion I haven’t slept much. The next day, Wednesday, I had a lot more pain and I felt really terrible, I couldn’t stand any noise or light and of course I was exhausted. Late at night Henk had put me in bath with the hope that the pain would relieve a bit. But this didn’t help. Then I took 1 extra painkiller and 2 hours later I took one more and finally the pain relieved a bit and I fell asleep. I had taken too much painkillers but at that moment it didn’t matter to me. I had to do something to relieve the pain, I didn’t know anymore what to do despite the normal daily painkillers.
The next day, Thursday, I woke up early. I haven’t slept much and not well enough and I am so terrible tired. At noon my mother came to put up the Christmas tree. Despite it was exhausting for me it also gave some distraction. And now I have a beautiful tree and something nice to look at. Around 19.00h she went home and I tried to get some sleep.
Again I didn’t sleep well, I woke up a lot of times. How is it possible, you are so terrible tired and yet you don’t sleep. I am glad that I gave my help a day off today (Friday). I want to read my emails but like the past days I don’t understand what I read. This is normal for me but usually when I read an email a couple of times I understand it a bit. And now I can read it 10 times but I still don’t understand it. As stubborn as I am I read all the emails. But just one time so I don’t know what was written but I read them all. Again I go to bed early and hope that this time I will sleep well and for a long time.
Yes, I have slept well this time. I woke up at 15.00h because someone was at the door. I am glad that I finally did get some sleep, not that I am less tired now, no I am still exhausted. My head is a bit clearer now so I started writing this. In the evening I have tried to chat but that was too much for me, I couldn’t follow it.
De next day, Sunday already, I woke up at 17.00h. I woke up some times, but overall I slept well. I decide to take a bath, so I call Henk and he carries me to the bathroom. I enjoy the warm water but for just a short time because a collapse. So Henk lifts me out of the water, dries me off and carries me back to bed. Around 19.00h I regained a bit and start writing down all this.
Today, Monday, I again woke up at 17.00h. I eat a bit then rest again and then I start working on this report again. Then I rest again, watch some TV and go to sleep.
This is my last day report. I quite writing down all this, it is al getting the same each day and who knows for how long this goes on like this. I still take too much painkillers to manage the day. I am only awake for a few hours and I still can’t tolerate noise and light. But we will see when it goes better.
It was real hard for me the days after my trip and I often thought ‘I shouldn’t have done this’ or ‘if I had known this before…’ . But you don’t know this in front; I knew that I could expect a relapse but that it would be a heavy one? Now afterwards, now I fell a bit better, although it’s still not the way it was before the ME-meeting, I am glad I went. Okay, I had to suffer for it, but no one can take me away the memories of that day.
December 12, 2000 Next
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